Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Threadgills!


Thanksgiving was great. My family once again engaged in one of the few traditions that we have. Threadgill's. Threadgill's is one of those original "Keep Austin weird" restaurants where at any time you can see some of the socially elite sitting at a table next to the guy that you just gave all your spare change to outside.

I think that they filmed an American Express commercial there a couple of years ago (I know you care...)


As we were seated a heavily pierced man came to take our drink orders. "Could I start you guys out with some Margaritas or anything?"
Apparently the holidays are tough on some people.
"No, we'll all just have water." The three of us (My brother, Uncle and I) replied. After he walked off I got what must have been the 196th lecture on the woes of tattoos and piercings, which wouldn't have bothered me except...
During this lesson, a new couple walked in to sit in the booth directly behind me. She was clad in fish nets, dark make-up and covered in tattoos. He may have actually had at least a dozen visible piercings.

I could tell by there glaring stares and gnashing teeth that they did not appreciate my Uncle's thoughts on the "evils of destroying your body."

I love thanksgiving.
We spent Sunday going to visit a church that I had never been to before. Then we helped do what my uncle does every week. That is serve food under the IH-35 bridge to homeless people in downtown Austin. Literally hundreds of homeless people recognized him. Many remembered his name and came up to give him a hug. As Elliott and I watched he would pray with them, ask them what they need and just sit to listen to their stories.
I've got a cool Uncle. Elliott and I are coming up to our 17th year of being able to call him our uncle/dad, but I'm sure that is a blog for another time.
I hope that everyone had a Happy Thanksgiving and hope to be able to read about some of your stories online.

Other things that Happened over Turkey Week:

Hook'em! - Although we tried to let A&M Win

I watched my A-High boys end their 2005 Playoff Run Against Southlake Carroll (I thought that they were a college team!!!)

I decided that I may need a new car (Anyone looking for a 1995 Dodge Neon with 150k miles?)

Elliott got into Law School!!!

Amanda and I went to see Rent - Yeah, I dug it too

Monday, November 21, 2005

Go Eagles!


I don't know what it is. Maybe it is because when I was in high school, I went to a little private school and we didn't have it and I always wanted to be able to do it. Maybe it is because my girlfriend is just at tad obsessed with it. Or maybe there is just nothing else to do in Abilene. I love High School Football! There is nothing like it, especially in West Texas. The mighty Abilene High Eagles are on the road to the state championship this year, and Amanda and I are trying to catch every minute of it. Too bad we hear it all too...
A couple of weeks ago, we were at the first playoff game against the Mighty Weatherford Kangaroos. Now the game was of little consequence since the Eagles won like a billion to 7, but the half time festivities proved to be a bit entertaining.
Every game, during halftime the "Oldest Marching Band in Texas" goes out to pump up the crowd. As they play, a myriad of dancers, twirlers and cheerleaders perform as well.
Now, I have always been told that if there is ever a microphone in front of you, be very careful. You don't want to say anything that would get you in trouble. I guess Abilene High's play by play announcer has never heard that old proverb...
We were standing with some friends of ours who were listening to the game on the radio as they watched it in the stands (I told you high school football is a big deal here!). Rebecca, the lady who was listening in during the half time show said "David, you gotta listen to this, these guys thought that they have gone to commercial, but they are still broadcasting!"
10 seconds after I put one of her earbuds in my ear, I hear the following however the names have been changed to protect the innocent
Earl, get back in here! You gotta see this! Donnie Smith's daughter Erin is down on the field. She's one of them Eaglette Dancers or something. She looks like a cow trying to graze on the Astroturf!"
As I bent over into a hysterical convulsion, Rebecca reminded me how not funny that was and how I should go tell them that they were still on the air.

- "How would you feel David, if he would have said your first and last name and then the the name of your baby girl!"

I am a grown up -I'd forgotten for a second

After I run up to the booth and tell these guys that they had just showed the world that they were no more mature than the middle schoolers sitting just below them in the stands, their eyes became the size of saucers and the play by play annoucer struggled to get the words out of the microphone: "And We're Back..."

Oops...

You would think that they would have learned their lesson, but...
5 minutes later, they try to go to commercial again. As they imagine that some guy named Johnny was trying to sell Vacuums over the airwaves, we all hear:
"Who the heck was that black guy that came up here and told us that we were still on the air, huh?...
I guess I'm famous now in West Texas

Corey I bet you're glad that your play by play went as well as it did!!!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

You're so vain...




One thing that my brother and I always could agree on was that we hated something about our appearance. It wasn't that we had unhealthy self-esteems about it or anything: I mean how can someone sporting an 8 inch flat top haircut (Elliott) or Nike Sign shaved in the back of his hair (me) not be self confident... No, it was our jacked up teeth that we didn't like. All through our formative years, Elliott and I had buck teeth that we thought the world noticed everytime we opened our mouths. In my opinion my grill looked much like what you see before you above.

That was until we decided to do something about it. Upon graduation from college, it was a time for a change so we went to a professional. Our dentist, who happened to be close family friend, promised that he could take care of the problem, but it would be an interesting process. And oh, it was...

The first thing that he had to do was to make it possible for my teeth to come all the way together through oral surgery. In the words of Bill Cosby, "In the dentist chair I found that if I lost both of my legs, I would be able to walk down the street by rythemically flexing my rear end!" Dr. Broom had to take that long needle that they shoot you with whenever you have a cavity (come one, you know you've had a cavity!) AND STUCK IT IN THE ROOF OF MY MOUTH!!! I'm not kidding! I think he touched my brain with that thing, and oh I felt it! If you are ever in the dentist office and he says, "David, now, I'm not gonna lie, this is going to hurt, If I were you, I would grab both of those arm rests and hold on! I'm serious David." Then believe him...
At the conclusion of this awful experience I was fitted with not braces, but BRACE. The dentist, I think in order to humiliate me as much as possible, put a brace on each of my front two teeth, but not on any other tooth. He said that this was to pull the two together. I don't know if he thought it was because I was black or what, but my dentist told me the following:
Dentist/Torture Artist: "David, you look cool man, its like you've got some, oh what do the kids call it, bling bling on your front two teeth!"



I was not amused.

I then got to spend over 3 months in Thailand (missionary apprenticeship after college) with my bling. It was during that time period, that I then regretted making so much fun of all of my friends that had braces for years. I think that braces are like the gustapo for your mouth; Mean terrorists, who confine you to a metal cell and deny you all of the food that you most want to eat. During my time in "prison" I completely forgot the wonders of Carmel, Gummy Bears and Gum.
The first thing that I did when I flew back was go to the dentist to get them removed and get my teeth finished.
At long last Elliott and I had what he called "White People Teeth!" We were both so excited except...
Now I have to keep going to the dentist so my "W.P.T" don't fall out and I had no idea how annoying it would be to have to wear a retainer to bed every night, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Its been a while...

Well, I apologize for the time in between bloggings. A lot has happened since my last post. Here are some highlights:

1.) I went to the Dentist - this will definately have to be a blog posting all by itself!!!

2.) Placed memebership at church, again - Apparently, my trial period ran out since I placed membership there 6 years ago as a student

3.) Dressed up like Methulselah for Halloween - Imagine me shaving a bald spot in my head, wearing glasses and boardshorts, and going crazy with a can of White hair dye...

4.) Watched my beloved Horns beat down everyone they have played (Hook'em!)

5.) Finally gotten someone to come out and turn my heat on at the house (My property management team is AWFUL)

6.) Played golf with my brother and my girlfriend's dad (Pat) - let me tell you how much I love being the absolute worst at something...

7.) Stayed at the Hyatt and Omni Hotels in Austin

8.) Thrown the absolute worst pass in the history of intramural football - Yes, I agreed to play in a couple of intramural games - I'm officially one of those old guys

9.) Went and saw Jarhead with Amanda (the girlfriend) - great movie which was pretty nonpolitical - reminded me some of Blackhawk Down in the way that it was written.

10.) Hosted a College of Business Luncheon and Dinner in Austin - At which I got to hear the Dean of our college of business make, lets just say an inappropriate comment...

It is this last one that I am going to spend some time on in this post - I am sure the others on the list will be revisited at some point. Leslie Mayo made the point that I should blog the next 10 days over those things, so that could even be possible.
Anyways, In case you were wondering, I am a recruiter for the University that I (and probably every single person who is reading this blog) graduated from. I have always loved my job because I get to travel and work with High Schoolers, which is a lot of fun. High Schoolers are unpredictable, and apparently so are 40 year olds with PH D's...
The dean our college of business made the trip to Austin to help me put on a recruiting event. In all there were 7 of us in attendance who work directly for the university. We worked our butts off to get ready for a luncheon for alumni and dinner for prospective students at this very ritsy restaurant in downtown Austin called Carmello's. It was during the luncheon that I heard one of the most awkward and humorous things come out of a dean's mouth EVER...
Dean Lytle is a very well spoken and likeable guy, so I am glad that this happened to him, otherwise his career may be over with our dear little university.
Dr. Lytle was talking about COBA and how we like to invite different business leaders in to hang out with our students as well as help them with their businesses. Now, in this day and age it is very important for you to be completely PC, especially if you are addressing a large group. In his attempt to include women as business leaders who come in and visit ACU, he made a bit of a word fowl up... I'll just type it out...

Dr. Lytle: >"We have people from all over come to visit. They come into our conference room and get to business. The men take off their blazers and the women take off their blouses in order to be a little more comfortable"

I guess COBA runs a little different than my office does...